The My Dad series
I am blessed, my dad actually took the time to pass on things to me. I am not a first generation christian, I am the result of a father (and mother) who cared enough to make my walk with God important to them. Just the other day I was able to go to lunch with one of the most amazing Elders I have met in my journey so far. We went to eat at a chinese restaurant and the whole conversation started with a simple statement and question;
I want to know about your father because I can learn a lot about you…
So I went into an hour long conversation about the many things that I have learned from my dad. It got me thinking – I need to share this with the world.
So here we are:
My Amazing Dad
Part 1: Marriage advice
I remember when I was about to get married and dad and I took a little drive. I had just started my first job in ministry and within three months I was about to get married. So dad took the time to give me 2 very important pieces of advice that I have passed on to many grooms to be.
1 – Ben, no argument is worth being right. I wasn’t sure what Dad meant at the time, but I quickly learned in our marriage what he meant. There are moments in marriage where we have to make a decision, do I prove I am right? Or do I want to be close?
Do I defend myself to be heard over the heart (or at the hurt) of my wife? After all, most of those situations are pride and just trying to “prove” my point or my feelings
I can’t say that I have always abided by the rules and thus learned how damaging it would become. For me to choose my “rightness” over our communication and closeness was never worth the hurt that it caused.
Dad was right, it is much more valuable to “take the hit” in the marriage than to always try to prove you are right. Nili and I fight together, not against each other because of what my dad taught me.
2 – Ben, never ever ever say anything negative about your wife.
Ever hear someone talk crudely about their spouse or their marriage.
Ever hear anyone make a joke about their spouse, or the “ball and chain”.
Believe it or not, it causes division – but we all know that. No one ever feels honored by those kind of jokes, and it opens so many doors for doubt, insecurity and broken trust. In fact, dad taught me to always speak positive about my wife, and to build her up. Let everyone know how special she is to me, how incredibly blessed I am because God has given her to me. I cannot say that everything has been perfect, and neither Nili or i am perfect – but this advice has saved my marriage of a lot of hurt. I believe it has saved us from insecurities, discouragement, and even temptations.
Truth is – I am in love with Nili more today than I ever have been – and I am so blessed to have the MOST amazing woman in the WORLD as my wife.
So, that is the first installment of MY DAD
Stay tuned to some more legacy moments from Gary Stewart