So I have been trying to lose weight for… Well, for a LONG time. I believe I have lost the same 15 pounds at least 10 times over the past 10 years – and alas…
Here I am again.
But to understand the determination I feel, I need to share the first time this happened – I was about 3 months from getting married when I had a conversation with my friend about my desire to lose weight. After all, I am getting married and being in your “best” condition was definitely a desire of mine. In this “accountability” conversation my friend discloses a conversation he had with ANOTHER friend of mine (let’s call him John). This conversation went something like this…
Chris: So, Ben’s getting married in just a few months.
John: yeah, pretty exciting huh?
John: Hey, have you noticed that Ben is getting fat
Ok, so maybe that isn’t he way that it happened – but nevertheless, my friend shared with me that John was saying that I was getting fat. This was devastating. Why would my friend talk about me, and why would he say I am getting fat???
So, I went to God to complain
Me: God, Why would John say that I am getting fat? Why would he be so rude?
God: Well, Ben you are getting fat…
Me: You too? Why would you say that about me? You are God – why?
God: Because you are getting fat.
The conversation went on for a LONG time as I got the biggest download of Love from God that I had ever had. Instead of being afraid of the truth, I was facing truth with love at the deepest level ever. There was no condemnation, there was no shame, just love with correction. The place of loving me so much that He would tell me the truth, and I learned to trust that love deeper than ever.
I think sometimes we miss out on growth because we don’t know how to receive correction. No matter if it is in love or not.
The struggle is real…
So I went into a plan to lose weight. When I talk about a plan, I mean a rigorous, intense schedule. 6 days straight of working out, running, cardio, weights and changing my diet – I even did the slimfast diet. Hard work…
- End of the week (after all the hard work, starvation, and extreme sweating)
- I LOST ONE POUND!!!
How is that even possible???
I was furious, disappointed, in disbelief, angry and feeling let down. What is it going to take? So I dd what I have learned to do often – I talked to Nili.
Nili, why – why can I work so hard, put all this energy and effort only to lose 1 pound!
And in her wisdom (and leading of the Holy Spirit) she simply said to me
Ben, if you do that for another 50 weeks, you will reach your goal!
So, as I go into this new season of losing weight again I am faced with the thoughts.. How hard will this be? Can I do it?
I can… You can
- Just take one day at a time.
- Be present and participate
- And celebrate every pound